|
|
MY OWN PRIVATE HIGH FIDELITY by Lee A. Chrimes First Draft started 13/1/04, completed 2/2/04 BLACK SCREEN. White captions fade up and down. CAPTION - The events you are about to see are all true. They have been reproduced as faithfully as possible to make sure that nobody escapes. CAPTION - Some names and details have been altered to protect that fairly innocent, and some have been left exactly as they are to expose the not very innocent. CAPTION - And if anyone has any complaint about the way they are represented.. CAPTION - Well, what can I say.. CAPTION - Except.. MUSIC - ‘I’m So Happy You Failed’ by Laptop plays as the final two captions appear. CAPTION - You had it coming. CAPTION - ‘My Own Private High Fidelity.’
INT. DAY. COFFE HOUSE. CAPTION - White lettering at the foot of the screen - JANUARY 2004 MUSIC - ‘I Don’t Have Anything’ - VAST Typical chain coffee house, all sanitised paintwork, comfy chairs and young cosmopolitan customers sipping their overpriced coffee cups. and music piping softly through concealed overhead speakers. We’re upstairs, and through the large windows that are set into two of the walls we can see the top half of a city centre, with a skyline of three-storey buildings all around. In the centre of the frame is ALEX and KIRSTEN, two young mid-twenty year olds, sat at a table for two set against one wall. Alex has short, black spiky hair, pale skin, glasses and is dressed for work - plain black combat trousers, purple short-sleeve shirt with a black longsleeve top underneath and navy blue Crombie coat. Kirsten looks like the art student she is - red hair that is in need of combing, knitted floor length cardigan and random jangling bracelets on her wrists. She’s talking, and Alex is looking at her, around her, out the window - we can see his mind is racing as she talks. We can’t really hear them, but Alex’s voiceover speaks over the scene. ALEX (V.O.) This must be how people break up when they’re in their twenties. No screaming rows, no plate throwing, no sulks, four hour long phone calls, or turning up at a party or a night out and seeing your intended examining the tongue of some other random bloke. No, when you pass your teenage years you get none of that, instead you get to have mature, sensible conversations with the person you’re dumping, or being dumped by, talking things over and trying to keep your emotions in check. While, of course, said emotions are doing their bet to claw their way out of your mind and scream the place down, kicking over tables and burning old ladies and kittens in righteous indignation at the injustice of it all. At least, that’s what it felt like when Kirsten broke up with me. I mean, I knew it was coming. Things hadn’t been right between us for some time and I was trying to think of ways to talk to her about it, but she beat me to the punch and left me flat on my back at the end of it all.
We pan the camera around to watch Alex over Kirsten’s shoulder. His hands are clasped in front of him, covering his mouth as though he’s afraid of letting himself speak. By now we know these two are having The Talk - they’re breaking up. Alex looks like he knew this was coming but he didn’t know how it was going to work out.
ALEX (V.O.) This isn’t the best place to start, but in a way the end of the story is also the only place you can really start it, sitting in the upstairs lounge of the local Costa’s coffee house, the burbling conversations of a half dozen random groups of students filling the air around us and between us, an ice cold vanilla frescato gradually warming up and oozing out of the restraints of its plastic cup on the table before me. So let me rewind things, tell you who I am and why I’m telling you all of this, then we can get things started. We pan round to watch Kirsten from over Alex’s shoulder. She’s running her hand through her hair a lot, looking genuinely sympathetic as she talks. She looks down at the untouched drink and nods with her head to it, but Alex just shakes his head and leaves it where it is. Fade to black. OPENING CREDIT SEQUENCE - fade up on scene 2. INT. DAY. COMIC SHOP. CAPTION - A few months earlier Alex is at work in the comic shop. It’s a large building with two floors, the main shop floor and a mezzanine gallery above the entrance, connected by a staircase leading up from the left-hand wall. The floor is filled with long shelf racks displaying their wares - anime books and videos, t-shirts, board games, fanzines, calendars, graphic novels, figurines, toys and hardback novels. Across the back wall are shelves displaying this week’s comics, lined up alphabetically and stretching from wall to wall. Next to that is a small back issues section, long white boxes filled with cellophane-bagged comics. The entrance looks out onto the same city streets as we saw from the coffee house, with windows either side displaying a selection of items to eager shoppers walking past outside. The till is to the immediate right of the entrance, with a selection of small boxed items and larger, luxury items like plush toys, busts and video/DVD box sets on the wall behind it. The far right of the counter is home to trading card games, rows of boxes spreading up onto shelves on the wall. To the left of that is a glass cabinet with large, hand-painted busts and figurines on display. A series of large movie posters decorate the walls above, and a standee Boba Fett guards the staircase up to the balcony floor. A scattering of customers wander round the shop - wide-eyed children looking at the wall of Star Wars figures, sweaty, bulky fanboys getting grubby fingerprints over all the new release comics, bored girlfriends trying to find something to look at while their partners decide between Transformers t-shirts, and mothers shopping for the very specific kind of Spider-Man figure that their sons have asked for. We start on a dolly shot in the upper right corner of the room, panning down to pick up Alex, making his way along the racks putting out items from a pile in his hands. We hear his voice over again. ALEX (V.O.) My name’s Alex. I’m twenty four years old, and have been since I stopped being twenty three. I work in a comic shop, although my manager would rather I use the phrase ‘cult memorabilia’ instead. Whatever.
Alex finishes stacking the items, answers a question from one of the exasperated mothers trying to find something by pointing her in the right direction, and makes his way behind the counter to join his three workmates, ZOE, DAVE and LIZ. Zoe is a short, pretty northern girl with long dark hair, tanned skin and the look of a young Sandra Bullock. Dave is a Wolverhamptonite of Irish parentage, complete with the thick accent, average height and lean of build, with close-cropped blonde hair and an ever-present cheeky grin. Liz is a, overweight, sour-faced woman with an outdated bob haircut, fat lips and thick eyebrows. Not exactly a Picasso. ALEX (V.O.) The three misfits I work with are Zoe, the escaped northern star who has been the nearest I’ve got to a big sister in the time we’ve known each other. By which I mean she takes the piss out of me a lot and keeps borrowing all my CDs. The guy is Dave, a guy with a great sense of humour and a stream of one-liners, usually mixing that in with stories about drinking. And Ireland. And drinking in Ireland. The sourpuss over there is Liz, bane of the life of the rest of us. technically the lowest-ranked person here, but possessed of the rare ability to suck up to the management enough to get her own way most of the time.
ALEX That’s the last of that lot then. What’s up for the rest of today?
DAVE Same as yesterday, really.
ALEX We sit around and talk rubbish about old cartoon shows from when we were little?
DAVE Yer, sounds about right!
Alex makes his way behind the counter and settles down, rescuing one of the preview comics from its protective bag on the wall behind the counter, and puts his feet up to read. ZOE Oi! Don’t just sit around, you, we’ve still got plenty of work to do in here.
ALEX What?
ZOE There’s stock to check, we’ve got about a million back issues to sort through, Mr Player, and there’s all those faulty X-Men figures that we’ve got to box up and send back.
ALEX What was wrong with them again?
Alex retrieves one of the figures. It’s a Wolverine doll with extendable claws, but when he pushes a button on its back, the claws fly straight out of the figure, poking him in the eye. He crumples to the floor with a shout of pain. ZOE (looking down at Alex) There was a worry that children could hurt themselves playing with them..
DAVE Heh, time to use your healing factor then, mate!
Alex flails out with one fist and catches Dave in the stomach, who also falls to the floor with a grunt of pain. Zoe sighs and knocks Alex’s jacket off the counter as she lifts the partition and walks out, disappearing through a door painted to resemble another shelf of comics into the storeroom at the back. Alex pulls himself back to his feet, painfully wrenching the embedded plastic claws from his face.
DAVE There’s an American band I think you’d like, you know, they’re called Third Eye Blind..
Alex glares at him through his one good eye, the other being bloodshot from the claw wounds. ALEX We need some lively music so we can get moving. Otherwise, the temptation to spend all day sat here reading comics will just be too much..
CAPTION - White lettering on black screen - "Two hours later.." ON SCENE - Alex, Dave and Zoe are all sat on stools or perched on the counter, reading novels and comics. A customer, a thin nerdy looking guy with a bad parting and glasses, wanders up to the counter. CUSTOMER Excuse me, do you have the latest copy of ‘Big Breasted Amazonian Warrior Women Go To The Beach And Take Their Tops Off?’
Alex and Dave exchange a look for a second and then burst into laughter. Alex retrieves the comic from underneath the counter and chucks it towards the customer. The customer goes for his wallet but Alex holds up a hand to stop him. ALEX Relax, my friend, that one’s on the house. We only sell those to you anyway, so you may as well get them for nothing!
The customer glares at Alex then storms away. Dave chuckles and goes back to his book. The camera closes in on Alex a bit - he looks at us and starts talking, his conversation not affecting the rest of the scene. ALEX not be much, but it feels like home. In fact, it may as well be my home for the amount of time
I spend here! some new movie, book or game release we’ll camp out upstairs in these hammocks we set up, and when I clock off I usually knock around here for a bit longer before I head home. I know the comics industry is a very Americanised place, but we at least manage to get a sense of Britishness to it by the staff here, and that’s why I stay.
Alex scans the wall behind him - we see the rows and rows of anime videos on a shelf above his head and then a TV screen mounted on the wall, easily viewable from his current reclined position. ALEX Well, that, and the fact that I get to sit on my arse and watch videos when there’s no customers..
EXT. ALEX’S STREET. EARLY EVENING. We see Alex walking along a quiet urban street, keys in hand and backpack on shoulder. The street itself is pleasant enough - lined with cars and small detached houses, it seems fairly middle class without seeming like any serious money is floating around. Alex is walking towards a new-looking set of flats up ahead, the camera walking along a few steps behind. He speaks to us over his shoulder. ALEX the reference. Just so happens that I love Sherlock Holmes so it suits me fine. I may only be able to afford a flat but it’s just great for me. I don’t have any brothers or sisters so I’m used to being by myself. Carries over from childhood.
INT. ALEX’S ROOM AT PARENTS’. NIGHT. The teenage Alex in his room. A small room filled with musical equipment, old consoles and posters wall to wall, we can tell it’s the early 90s by the kinds of things on display - the Cindy Crawford poster, the Nine Inch Nails poster next to that, that kind of thing. Alex himself is sat on the floor, playing on his Amiga computer as we watch night turn into day and then back into night again via time-lapse photography through the windows behind the TV screen. INT. ALEX’S PLACE. EARLY EVENING. We’re watching the front door to Alex’s flat as he turns the key and opens the door. Stepping inside, he slips off his trainers and throws his leather jacket over a clothes peg on the wall next to him. Mewling noises are followed by two cats racing up to him from off screen, rubbing against his legs. One is a ginger and one is tabby, they’re both quite small. Alex picks them up.
ALEX Hello Calvin, hello Hobbes. Glad to see you too. Huh? What’s that?
Alex holds Hobbes (the ginger cat) to his ear as though he’s whispering something to him. He nods and looks back at the cat. ALEX Meow. Roughly translated as ‘Feed me.’
INT. EARLY EVENING. Alex’s kitchen as the automatic can opener grinds open a tin of cat food. The cats scurry about on the kitchen surface, mewing in anticipation of their dinner. Alex’s place is moderately furnished - plain white walls with tastefully framed b-movie posters, clutter but neatly arranged - the shelf of action figures, the stacks of CDs, videos, games and DVDs, the big screen TV with surround sound speakers, big floppy sofa and stereo make this the kind of place your average man would never have to leave. The kitchen is open plan, a few cupboards, microwave, oven, washing basin. Alex is obviously a guy who’s got living by himself down to a very minimalist art and likes to keep it that way. He walks over to his bedroom door and opens the door slightly to throw his bag onto the bed - the glimpse of his room we get is that it follows the same design ethic as the rest of the place. ALEX This is home. It’s the place where I hide from the rest of the world, somewhere that never fails to keep me safe and warm. Plus, my stereo is great and I have lots of films I can sit and watch.
Fade to later in the evening. Alex is sat watching the TV, the curtains drawn and a few lights on to give the room a dim lighting. An empty plate lies at his feet, which Hobbes is systematically licking clean. Calvin is curled up on Alex’s lap, and Alex is absently scratching the cat behind his ears. He talks to us as he keeps one eye on the TV. ALEX Of course, this happy little domestic scene has taken a bit of a knock recently. We’re still before that opening scene, at the coffee shop, so maybe we ought to do a quick fast forward to that night. Then I can start the story proper.
Dissolve onto the same scene, the sofa is empty and the cats are sniffing around. CAPTION - JANUARY 2004 The lights are out but flick on as we hear a door slam off screen. Alex slumps into view and falls, face first onto the sofa. His arm falls to the floor and Hobbes starts to lick at his hand. Alex moans, his face buried in a pillow, before sitting up, a frown on his face as he seems to be thinking something over. He talks to the camera. ALEX Have you ever read ‘High Fidelity’? It’s this excellent book by Nick Hornby. that’s the story of a record shop owner who breaks up with his girlfriend and then goes on a mission to revisit his old flames to try and find out what went wrong. To see if there’s anything he can learn from it all. Sitting here, a few hours after having broken up with yet another woman, I think back to the first time I read that book..
Dissolve to: INT. DAY. UNIVERSITY CLASSROOM. CAPTION - NOVEMBER 1997 Alex is sat with twenty other students in a top floor university class, reading through a dog-eared copy of ‘High Fidelity’ as the teacher talks to a few other students. He seems utterly engrossed in the book, only broken by his friend KATY nudging him on the arm. KATY You still reading that, mate? We’re only supposed to look at the first bit of it!
ALEX This book.. this is my life! At least, this is what my life should be.
KATY Why?
ALEX Guy breaks up with a girl, wonders what it’s all for, goes on a quest to revisit his past and learn from his mistakes.. it’s just brilliant! This should be required reading for every guy in the world, it’d save a lot of trouble.
KATY So what, you’re going to go ringing up all your exes or something?
ALEX Not sure yet. Maybe I’ll wait till I get dumped again and then see how the mood takes me!
The teacher finishes and the class gather their books and get up to leave. Alex leaves the room, still flicking through the book. Dissolve back to: INT. NIGHT. ALEX’S PLACE. Alex’s front room, as before the flashback. ALEX Turns out it took me a lot longer to go on that voyage of self-discovery that I needed. It probably wouldn’t have lasted as long if I’d done it back then. No, it was last year when I finally hit the trail..
Dissolve to: INT. NIGHT. THE FLOCK. CAPTION - SEPTEMBER 2002 It’s a low-ceilinged, smoky pub, a themed place with dark woodwork and mismatched chairs. A group of friends sit round one of the larger tables - we see Alex, CHRIS, EDDIE and JESSICA, and also KELLY, Chris's girlfriend and Jessica’s sister, TARA, BOB, RUBY and SCARLET. Everyone is busy chatting away but Alex keeps glancing over at Scarlet. The camera closes in on her and freezes to display the caption, then resumes. CAPTION - SCARLET. ALEX (V.O.) It was late September, 2002, when I first met Scarlet. She was friends with my mate Jess’s sister, a Cambridge uni geography student and possessed of that rare kind of kooky charm that I always go for in student girls. You know, Doctor Who scarf, unusual music tastes, often glasses as well to add to the sexy librarian fantasy all men have. Anyway, I didn’t pay her too much attention at first, she was back up from Cambridge to my hometown of Walsall for the weekend, and I still had a strange thing going on with Tara at the time, but more on that later. Fate was to play Scarlet into my hands courtesy of our overly-emotional friend Ruby, who can always be counted on to be having a crisis about something..
Cut to: EXT. OUTSIDE THE FLOCK. The friends from before are making their way out. Ruby, Kelly, Scarlet and Alex are left as the others break up and make their ways home. RUBY Do any of you guys want to go on somewhere else?
KELLY What did you have in mind?
RUBY (shrugs) Anywhere, really, I just wanna carry on drinking, you know?
ALEX fallout situation..
RUBY Can we just go somewhere, please?
KELLY Come on, Mr Alex, let’s drive.
SCARLET Yeah, let’s go off into Wolverhampton or somewhere, there’s bound to be a place open at this time of the night.
ALEX Okay dokey then, follow me..
The group walk over to Alex’s car, a purple Honda Civic. He opens the doors and lets everyone in. His voice over talks as Alex starts the car and drives off screen. ALEX (V.O.) Now, little Ruby was having a bit of a crisis, as it happened, and she wanted to relieve this in two time- honoured ways - getting drunk and telling somebody all about it. And fate was to play things into my hands again once we finally found somewhere else to sit and drink some more. Well, I wasn’t drinking, obviously. I’m a bad enough driver already.
INT. THE CITY BAR. Trendy inner city bar, full of students. The furniture is all steel chairs and sharp lines, mixed bizarrely with the homely wallpaper and European exchange students who run the place. Ruby and Kelly are sat next to each other - Ruby’s face is so long it may as well be scraping the floor as she recounts her sorry story to Kelly over a pint of beer she never gets round to sipping from. Alex and Scarlet are sat together a little way away from them. Inoffensive indie music plays in the background. ALEX
SCARLET Yeah, she looks like she’s doing some serious emotional counselling!
ALEX So anyway, Miss Scarlet..
SCARLET Yes?
ALEX This is the part where you tell me all about yourself and I go ‘mm’ a lot while I try to think up witty answers for you.
SCARLET (giggles) Not much to say, really. I’m a student, I like my indie schmindy music and going out with my mates, and I’m most glad that I’m not sitting where Kelly is right now..
Alex laughs. His voice over comes back in as the two chat. ALEX (V.O.) She was a nice girl, we managed to spend the rest of that evening talking about absolutely nothing at all. I know I should have been a little concerned by this, namely that we didn’t seem to have a great deal in common besides a taste in foreign films and a couple of bands, but to be honest I really didn’t care. All too often, you find the warning bells start to go off early on in your conversations with a new person, Because your psyche is trying to warn you of something, but it’s the decision you make there and then as to whether you listen to them or not that decides how things are going to work out. And for my sins, I chose to ignore mine at that point. Dissolve to: EXT. NIGHT. KELLY’S STREET. Alex’s car pulls into frame and stops, and Kelly and Scarlet get out. Kelly’s house is on a quiet town street, away from any main roads. Medium sized semi-detached houses line the street. Alex winds down his window to speak to them. ALEX (V.O.) After a little machinations to make sure we dropped the depressed Ruby off first, because she wanted us to help her wallow in self-pity a while longer, I took the girl’s to Kelly’s house, where they were staying.
ALEX So, thanks for a good night out, girls!
KELLY You would say that, you didn’t have to put up with her all night!
ALEX
KELLY I’d better..
SCARLET Thanks, Mr Alex.
ALEX
SCARLET Till Friday, so yeah.
ALEX number so you can let me know what’s happening?
The girls exchange a look, grin and then take their phones out of their bag. Alex hands over his number. ALEX (V.O.) Always better to do it that way. See, now I’m spared having to ask for theirs and potentially getting turned down, and also the ball is in their court when it comes to getting back in touch.
ALEX Nice meeting you both, then, see you around soon!
Alex drives away as the girls head into Kelly’s house. ALEX (V.O.) Now, I’ll be honest, Because I may as well be honest with the kinds of things I’m telling you about. At first I did kind of prefer Kelly, if only Because she was a good-looking redhead and, as you will soon find out, I am an absolute sucker for those. But I did like Scarlet too, she had that student indie kid thing that’s always quite appealing, plus she seemed a bit ditzy and I always like that too. I guess I’m quite easy to please. Now, life went on as normal until I started to speak to Scarlet via text message, usually while I was out somewhere.
INT. THE PLANET. NIGHT. Alex and his friends are stood inside the Planet - a low-ceilinged circular rock club, packed with heaving sweaty rocker bodies as they jump about to some tune or other. Tables line the sunken dance area in the centre of the room, with two staircases to the rear leading down to the large bar. A stage is set into the opposite wall, and in the left-hand corner of that wall there is a smaller bar area, with a side passage leading off to a quieter back room. Alex’s phone beeps and he takes it from his pocket. CLOSE UP on the phone as we read the text message. TEXT (on phone) Heya! Am bit drunk n bit stoned. What you doin?
Alex grins and types a reply. ALEX’S TEXT Out at Planet. Good night. Could do with better company tho!
Alex sends the message, looking up and over to Tara, dancing away absently at the edge of the dancepit. The camera zooms in on her and freezes to display the caption. CAPTION - TARA. ALEX (V.O.) Aah, Tara.
INT. ALEX’S PLACE. NIGHT. As before. Alex is walking round his apartment, swigging from a bottle of Budweiser as he paces. Hobbes is sat on top of the TV set, peering at Alex. ALEX Tara Ryder, to gift her with her full name, known to me and my friends only as Tara. I’d first met her a few years back whilst on a night out with my mate Chris, before he was seeing Jessica and before I really knew any of them.
EXT. OUTSIDE HARLEY’S. NIGHT. CAPTION - Late 2000. Alex stands in a crowd of people who are leaving and milling around a town centre nightspot. Chris is visible, talking to a few girls. The club is a small scale place, next door to a chip shop on one side and a large Homebase store on the other. As Alex watches, his coat wrapped around him and his breath misting in the chilly night air, Chris starts to snog Tara, only for a few moments. Alex raises an eyebrow. ALEX (V.O.) Chris was most definitely a man on a mission that night - the mission to kiss as many girls in one night as he could! I was never much good at that particular mission, which is probably one of the reasons why I’m in such a mess now! But anyway..
As Alex watches, Chris wanders over to Jessica and after a few moments chatting starts to kiss her as well. Alex laughs. ALEX (V.O.) Chris would, of course, eventually end up going out with Jessica and remaining very happy with her in due time, but this evening she was point number two for his libido.
INT. ALEX’S PLACE. NIGHT. Alex crouches before the TV, we look at his reflection in the screen. ALEX But the point I’m trying to make is that I should have realised way back then what kind of a girl Tara was. She loves attention. And she will flirt with anyone and anything to get it.
Alex turns the TV on, and the screen fills with static before we: DISSOLVE TO: INT. THE PLANET. NIGHT. As before, as the camera pulls back from Tara and focuses back on Alex. Alex talks to the camera, shouting over the loud music playing. ALEX I’ll get to Tara in due course, but in a nutshell at that particular moment in time I was still in a bit of a situation with her, and as a result the ability to safely flirt with Scarlet was proving to be a good tension breaker.
Pull back and away from the scene as Alex checks his phone again, reads the message on it and laughs. INT. ALEX’S PLACE. NIGHT. Alex is sat on the sofa. Calvin is asleep at his feet. We can see through the windows that it’s raining lightly outside. ALEX Things went on like that for a few weeks till she came to visit me on the eve of what would turn out to be my then band Digital’s last gig together. We were playing at the Wolverhampton Varsity, and it was the middle of November..
Dissolve to: INT. BACKSTAGE VARSITY. NIGHT. The backstage area of the Varsity pub, upstairs, is tucked away at the very back of the floor. We’re in a dingy room, two scruffy sofas against opposite walls, a table with a few cans of beer on it and a set of windows overlooking the city streets outside, bathed in an orange streetlight glow. Boxes and bags of musical equipment are lying all around, as there are two bands playing tonight - Digital and Spine Of God. Alex is sat on the third armchair, tuning up a guitar, as ROB, his bandmate, struts around the room in his large-platformed New Rock boots. Rob is tall and of average build, gothed up in a black faux body armour top and wearing goggles that push his black and blue dreadlocked hair back. His girlfriend CAITLIN, a petite goth girl with long auburn hair, sits at the table, adjusting her hair. On the one sofa sit TONI and PAUL, also known as Spine Of God. Paul is a thin, bearded guy dressed in a black KMFDM t-shirt and combat trousers, smoking and tucking into a can of beer from the several by his feet. He’s always grinning about something. Toni is an attractive girl with shoulder-length black hair, busy applying eye makeup via a small compact. The door to the room opens and STEVE, the short sound engineer of the venue, pokes his head in. STEVE Five minutes, Spine Of God.
TONI (smiles pleasantly)
Stan gives them the thumbs up and disappears again. Paul stands up, a little shakily as he is obviously already well-oiled up from the cans scattered around him, and makes his way to the door. PAUL Come on then, time to rock this place down.
TONI Right. (she stands and looks over to Rob and Alex) See you out there then, guys!
ROB (mock japanese bow) Hai.
ALEX Good luck, Toni.
We stay with Digital as Toni and Paul leave the room. There is a low bassy rumble from outside as their backing track starts to play, and cheers and applause from the crowd. ALEX (V.O.) Now, I knew she was going to be out there, which was precisely why I was currently hiding out backstage. For the average musician, someplace you can lock yourself away before a gig is absolutely essential. Keeps you sane before you walk onto that stage and bare your soul to the slavering hordes out there. Or, at least, as many of your mates as have bothered to show up.
ALEX (looks up from tuning the guitar) Now, it was no secret that opinion was divided about my band. We were a kind of electro metal group, mixing my influences, namely full throttle guitar riffing, to Rob’s influences..
Alex looks over to Rob, who is forming mock Bollywood dance moves and poses as he and Caitlin laugh about them. ALEX Which were, to be honest, a bit more unusual. He liked his techno, EBM, trance, all that kind of ‘thumpa thumpa’ genre, and although I wasn’t too keen on it, between the two of us we had enough in common to crank out a bunch of pretty cool songs. Our friends were less keen on us, seeing that Rob and I were going two very different ways with the sort of thing we wanted to do, and by this stage in the band’s life I was starting to agree with them. Rob and I’s friendship had been on the rocks for a while now, but that wasn’t the main point of tonight. That had come about two hours earlier..
The camera swoops back and zooms in on the windows. Dissolve to: INT. VARSITY - BACKSTAGE. EARLY EVENING. We’re still looking at the windows as the camera pulls back. Alex is just leaving the room, dressed normally. Well, normally for him. INT. VARSITY - STAIRS. EARLY EVENING. We’re looking over Alex’s shoulder as a group of people walk up the stairs - Alex’s friends are among them, as is Scarlet. She waves as she sees him. SCARLET Hiya! We just got here, what time are you on?
ALEX Not for ages yet! You, er, wanna go grab a drink downstairs?
SCARLET Yeah, okay!
ALEX Oh, no, actually, I can’t just yet, we’ve still got to finish soundchecking. I’ll try to come down for a bit when we’re done, alright?
SCARLET Alright!
CHRIS See you in a bit, goth boy! We must answer the call of beer.
Scarlet heads back downstairs with the others. Alex watches her go then turns and walks off screen with a big grin on his face. INT. ALEX’S ROOM. NIGHT. Alex sits on his bed, guitar on his lap as he strums absently on it. His room is decorated in darker colours than the rest of the house, but the framed cult posters still line the walls. ALEX Spine Of God’s set went well, and then soon enough Digital hit the stage. The gig itself was okay, not one of our best but bear in mind I had no idea it’d be the last. I might have tried smashing a guitar up or punching Rob out if I’d have known. After we’d finished, I headed back downstairs to seek the guys out.
INT. VARSITY - BAR. NIGHT. Alex walks up to a large table that all his friends are sat round. The interior of the Varsity downstairs is pine wood panelling, and the place is full of typical city boys and girls, chattering loudly as muted disco music plays overhead. Large windows look out onto the streets outside. Everyone at the table cheers as Alex walks over, shuffling round to let him sit. He ends up a few people away from Scarlet and Tara, one on each side. CHRIS Hey, rock star!
JESSICA You were brilliant.
ALEX
RUBY No, really, mate, you really were good. I thought you were good, anyway.
ALEX (V.O.) See, if Ruby hadn’t told me once at a gig of mine that she thought she made eye contact with me mid-set and fallen in love with me, I might have thought she was being unbiased..
ALEX Well, here’s to more nights like this one then!
He drinks up. He tries to catch Scarlet’s eye but she’s busy talking to Kelly, although Alex does notice that Chris seems uncomfortable with having Scarlet around. Ruby shoves up to get next to Alex and gives him a slightly over-enthusiastic hug. ALEX What’s the plan now? I’m all fired up with no place to go at the moment.
JESSICA We’re off to the Planet for a bit.
ALEX Aye, sounds good.
KELLY Yeah, so you can go dance with all your smelly rocker friends.
ALEX They’ve never let me down yet.
Cut to: The group leave the Varsity and walk up the road towards the Planet, which is a few streets away. Alex tries to walk with Scarlet without making it too obvious, but he can’t manoeuvre himself next to her. ALEX (V.O.) Now, what I didn’t know at the time was that Scarlet wasn’t just some old school friend of this lot that I hadn’t met before.
INT. ALEX’S PLACE. NIGHT. POV - INSIDE THE FRIDGE Alex opens the fridge and peers in, picking out a random packet of food. He goes to close the door, but pauses and speaks to the camera, which is looking out at him from between two of the shelves.
ALEX See, Chris and Scarlet used to go out with each other a few years back. And she dumped him just before she went away to start uni, and he never really forgave her for it. Let me make it quite clear that I knew absolutely none of this until much later on.
INT. THE PLANET. NIGHT. Same scene as before - packed dance floor, loud rock music, but this time Alex and Scarlet are sat up on the raised seats that line the room, talking away. We catch glimpses of Tara glaring suspiciously at the two of them. ALEX (V.O.) We talked all night about, as usual, nothing at all. And it was great. She seemed interested in all the random stuff I like to talk about, and she always had something to say too. That suits me, because present monologue notwithstanding I’m normally quite a quiet guy. This went on until I eventually drove her back home. She was staying at her gran’s house this time, just up the road from where I lived.
Cut to: INT. ALEX’S CAR - SCARLET’S GRAN’S STREET. NIGHT. Alex’s car pulls to a stop in frame. Alex turns to Scarlet. ALEX Well, there you go. You know, I only live a few minutes away from here.
SCARLET (grinning) Could be handy.
ALEX (grins back) It’ll be fun finding out.
Alex looks out through the windscreen. It’s a tense moment - it’d be a perfect time to go in for the kill, but does Alex have the nerve to do it. Scarlet looks across at him, as though she’s waiting for his next move. ALEX (V.O.) It was a tough call. Go for the kill or let her off home and save it for the next time?
Alex looks over at Scarlet and returns her Cheshire Cat grin. ALEX (V.O.) Fuck it.
ALEX I’d like to kiss you now, if that’s okay.
SCARLET I don’t mind..
Alex leans over and the two kiss. The camera pans up and scrolls them off the bottom of the shot, focusing on the pub across the street. ALEX (V.O.) All in all, it had been a pretty good night.
INT. ALEX’S PLACE. NIGHT. Alex is standing by the windows, looking out through the rain into the night waiting beyond. He doesn’t look at the camera as he speaks. ALEX So that was that. One of my better moments, I think. We stayed in the car for what seemed like a long time before she went inside, and we arranged to meet up again the next night. We went to the cinema, although the film we both chose wasn’t your average ‘first date’ kind of subject..
MONTAGE - clips from the film ’28 Days Later’ - zombies, people screaming, blood splattering. INT. ALEX’S PLACE. NIGHT. As before. ALEX What the hell, we both enjoyed it. After that we ended up back at my place.
INT. ALEX’S ROOM - PARENT’S HOUSE. NIGHT. Alex and Scarlet are curled up on his bed, sitting watching the TV on the other side of the room. His room is much like his apartment - dark wallpaper, framed posters and shelves full of action figures. A huge bookcase stretches from floor to ceiling next to the bed. ALEX (V.O.) I wasn’t planning on having anything else happen, but when she made the first move I didn’t exactly try to stop her.
Scarlet looks up at Alex. Without saying a word, she straddles him and kisses him. The ever-present grin of hers still in place, she lets him kiss back and start to run his hands over her. They steadily begin to undress each other. Fade to black. ALEX (V.O.) Dream on, no gory details here. Let’s say that it was a good experience and leave it at that, okay?
Fade up to:
INT. ALEX’S PLACE. NIGHT. He’s sat on the sofa again, staring out through the windows. Bringing these memories up is obviously putting a pretty dark cloud over his head. He grins as he remembers a few little details. ALEX She used to laugh when she.. well, you know. Some girls scream, some slap you, a few bark, apparently, but she.. she just giggled. It was always pretty sweet. She loved being tickled too. She had a nice belly for it. (he chuckles, then sighs once) Anyway, the five months that we spent together passed pretty quickly. She’d go back to Cambridge for uni and I’d go see her every few weeks. It suited me just fine. I’m used to spending a lot of time by myself, if I don’t do that I get very twitchy, so whenever I did see her it was always great fun and I didn’t regret a second of it.
EXT. CAMBRIDGE CITY CENTRE. DAY. Alex and Scarlet walk hand in hand down the street, historic buildings lining one side of the road and shops the other. Students and other academic types wander the streets as well, but we keep Alex and Scarlet in the middle of the shot. ALEX (V.O.) So I’d spend my every other weekend in the seat of learning, the historical city of Cambridge. We’d wander around in the day, absently shopping and doing lunch in random student cafes..
INT. CAMBRIDGE STUDENT CAFÉ. AFTERNOON. Alex and Scarlet sit at a table in a small cosy café, full of other chattering students and the Italian staff wandering past the shot as the couple sip coffee and eat slices of cake. ALEX (V.O.) And then in the evening we’d sample the Cambridgeshire nightlife..
INT. CAMBRIDGE UNI BAR. NIGHT. A crowded dancefloor, with a mezzanine balcony running all around it and a DJ booth overlooking the pit as a horde of sweaty students boys and girls bounce around to a random punk track. Scarlet and Alex are in the middle of it all, laughing as they get jostled around. The students are all much better dressed than most uni bars, however, still retaining that air of elitism that the college is so famous for. ALEX (V.O.) Which turned out to be about the same as everywhere else, really. There was only one thing that really bugged me a little about it all..
INT. ALEX’S PLACE. NIGHT. He turns to the camera with a raised eyebrow and a cynical grin.
ALEX ‘Here it comes..’ you must all be thinking..
INT. CAMBRIDGE BAR. NIGHT. Alex and Scarlet are sat at a table with about a dozen of her friends. Scarlet is busy talking to about four of them at once, everyone laughing and joking around, but despite game attempts to join in, Alex is very obviously outside the group. The camera gradually zooms in on him, pushing the rest of the table out of shot. ALEX (V.O.) I couldn’t shake the feeling that her social life meant a lot more to her than anything else. Including me. We’d go out and I’d be able to chat to her friends, but at the end of the night I just felt as though I was a tourist in her world, and when you add this to the fact that I generally went to see her because her whole life was in that city and she was reluctant to leave it, well..
INT. ALEX’S PLACE. NIGHT. Alex sits on top of the kitchen surface, tearing strips of bread from a baguette and eating some, throwing the others over to the cats on the opposite side of the kitchen, who meow and playfight each other to get at them, sniffing them before starting to chew. ALEX Don’t get me wrong, times were good with her. We had fun, we sat around and talked crap about things, watched movies that I like together, instead of the usual trap of having to go with girlie movies..
INT. CINEWORLD. NIGHT. CAPTION - Late 2000. Alex stands in the foyer of the cinema, looking up at the film times LED board above the ticket counter. We look through his eyes as his view switches between the two available options - cheesy romcom ‘Three To Tango’ or high budget action flick ‘Mission: Impossible 2.’ He looks down as GEMMA approaches, a short, curvy ginger girl. She hands him a ticket. ALEX
Gemma just grins and nods. INT. ALEX’S PLACE. NIGHT. Back in the kitchen. ALEX And then, there was the sex. Which was pretty good. And surprisingly frequent too, which meant that I needed those two weeks between visits to refuel my mojo..
INT. ALEX’S ROOM. NIGHT. Alex settles down on his bed and turns the stereo on as Calvin comes sniffing into the room, curling up on Alex’s belly to sleep after clawing at him for a few moments. ALEX So that was the situation. I had a few doubts but then I always do, and I was just starting to settle down when I went for what Roxette would call ‘The Big L.’
INT. ALEX’S ROOM AT PARENTS. NIGHT. Alex and Scarlet are in bed together, snuggled up and cosy. SCARLET (clearly very loved up) Mmm.. I feel I could tell you anything, you know.. anything at all..
ALEX What do you want to
tell me then? (dreamily) I dunno.. tell me something.
ALEX (V.O.) This was it. I’d held back on this for a while, we’d been together a few months and things were tip-top and groovy so far.. so it was time to Flame On.
ALEX Can I tell you I love you?
Scarlet looks up at him with a grin. SCARLET Yeah.. yeah, I love you too..
They kiss. MUSIC - Powerman 5000 '- Strike The Match' INT. ALEX’S ROOM. NIGHT. As before. ALEX too. Which was why things caught me by surprise a month or so later..
INT. ALEX’S ROOM AT PARENTS. DAY. Scarlet is sat on the end of his bed, dressed and with her coat on - her bags are on the bed in front of her, she’s obviously ready to set off home. Alex is over on the other side of the room, finishing combing his hair. He turns to her with a smile. ALEX
SCARLET (seems distracted) Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah..
Freeze frame. An alarm bell rings for a few seconds. ALEX (V.O.) And there it was. There’s always a moment when you realise that things have just started an Icarus-worthy nosedive, screaming in flames till they crash and burn on the rocks below. Or at least, to be a bit less melodramatic, that things have just taken a turn up shit creek and your boat’s full of holes..
Resume action. Alex pauses for a second but then carries on, grabbing one of Scarlet’s nags and then following her out of the room. INT. ALEX’S ROOM. NIGHT. The TV is switched on and the lights are off, bathing the room in a flickering blue light. Sombre music plays from the stereo, as the TV is on mute, showing some kind of police camera show, with crashing cars and flashing lights. Alex is slouched, still fully dressed, in his bed, the covers wrapped around him as he turns to talk to the camera. ALEX It’s hard to explain it, but you know it when you see it. If a girl is having second thoughts, or she wants to break up, or something equally terminal for your relationship, then you’ll see her do some- thing like that. Seem distracted, seem like she wants to say something but doesn’t know how to, or that a strange deadening vibe has just been thrown over the two of you. And right there, at that moment, I felt it again.
INT. NEW STREET STATION, PLATFORM 9. DAY. Alex and Scarlet are running along the platform for a train. She jumps up onto it, turns and gives him a quick kiss and then waves as the doors close and the train starts to pull away. ALEX (V.O.) If I’d have known that would be the last time I’d have seen her while she was still my girlfriend, I may have made a bigger deal out of it. She was away in Wales visiting her sister for a few weeks, but when she came back, the cloud that she’d left hanging over me came back to piss on my chips.
INT. ALEX’S ROOM AT PARENTS. DAY. CAPTION - APRIL 19, 2003 Alex is sat in front of his computer, playing Planescape Torment. It’s a sunny Saturday afternoon and he seems to be in reasonable spirits. ALEX (V.O.) for a few days before she went to spend Easter with her parents down in London. I was sat playing computer games when she rang me.
Alex’s phone rings, he answers. ALEX Hello?
SCARLET (filtered, through phone) Hiya, I’m back in Birmingham now.
ALEX
SCARLET (beat) Uh, no, do you want to meet me in the pub over the road from my gran’s in about an hour or so?
ALEX Um, okay, if you like.
SCARLET Alright, see you in a bit then.
Alex hangs up and sits back in his seat, a concerned look on his face. ALEX (V.O.) And there was the black cloud again. Why didn’t she want me to pick her up from the train station, Because it’d take her a lot longer to get home otherwise? And what was this ‘meeting for a drink’ stuff? That was very unusual. My Spider Sense was prickling and I knew that trouble was on the horizon.
EXT. OUTSIDE THE ARMS PUB. DAY. Alex’s car pulls into frame on the pub’s car park. Scarlet’s gran’s house is visible over the road as Alex exits the car and heads inside. INT. ALEX’S ROOM. NIGHT. Alex is further cocooned in his bedclothes. ALEX up, or exaggerated, but I swear to you that all of what I’m about to say is the unadulterated truth. (beat) Sadly.
INT. THE ARMS. DAY. A typical Toby pub, very middle aged in its décor and choice of music, which appears to be a ‘Sad Love Songs From The Eighties’ megamix. Alex wanders into the pub, full of families and middle-aged couples, as Joy Division’s ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’ starts to play. He sees Scarlet sitting at a table against one wall and heads over. ALEX (V.O.) I knew right then that it was over. But the masochist in me needed to go through with things anyway.
ALEX Hey you! Have a good trip?
SCARLET Yeah, yeah, it was fine.
An awkward silence passes for a few moments. Alex knows what’s up but is still trying to act like nothing’s wrong. He reaches out a hand to touch her cheek, and she places one of hers against it and closes her eyes. ALEX (V.O.) I thought for a second that it was actually going to work out fine.
SCARLET (sighs) This isn’t working, Alex.
ALEX (V.O.) For at least two or three seconds, anyway.
Alex’s hand zaps away from her as though he’s been shocked. He looks down for a second as the reality of it sinks in, then looks back up at her. ALEX Why? Why is it that bad?
SCARLET We hardly see each other. We just live too far apart.
ALEX I thought that didn’t bother you?
SCARLET It does and it doesn’t. My whole life is down there, Alex, and all I’ve got up here is you.
ALEX And I’m not enough?
‘Do You Really Want To Hurt Me’ starts to play. Alex looks up as he hears the song playing, taking in the gallows humour of the choice of song.
SCARLET (shakes her head sadly) I’m sorry, but no. It’s not enough to keep coming all the way back for. I mean, I’m going to be spending all of this summer in Australia, and after that, who knows? I’m never in the same place for more than a few weeks at a time, and..
WOMAN (O.S.) Excuse me, you two..
Alex turns to look - it’s a woman, holding a mobile phone with an apologetic look on her face. WOMAN so I hoped you could help me work this thing. I just want it put on to silent, if you could help!
ALEX
Alex takes the phone and presses a few buttons. WOMAN So are you two madly in love then?
ALEX (V.O) I am Jack’s sledgehammer of irony.
Alex and Scarlet share a look. ALEX (hands the phone back) There you go.
WOMAN Thanks, sorry to bother you!
She goes back to her table. Alex smiles at the irony of it all. ALEX (V.O.) I wanted to stand up and scream. I wanted the world to know what was happening to me! To jump onto the table and yell ‘NO! THINGS ARE NOT FUCKING OKAY! WE
ARE NOT MADLY IN LOVE (beat) But I didn’t.
ALEX Well, looks like life still goes on.
SCARLET I’m really sorry, Alex. It’s nothing you’ve done at all, you’re a really great guy. I just don’t think it’s a good idea for me to have anything tying me down at the moment. I move around too much.
ALEX So I guess that’s it, then. Not much point trying to keep things going when there’s only one of you who wants to.
SCARLET (nods) Yeah, guess so.
ALEX catch soon, anyway.
SCARLET Yeah, I have.
ALEX (puts his coat on) So I guess I’ll-
WOMAN (O.S.) Sorry again..
Alex turns to look at her again. For a brief second we see a shudder of surpressed anger ripple over him, but he keeps his cool and manages to calmly reply. ALEX Yes?
WOMAN I’m still, er, having a bit of trouble with it all, could one of you two help again?
ALEX
We close up on Scarlet, watching Alex as the woman explains her problem and he tries to help, the two of them going out of frame as we zoom in on Scarlet. ALEX (V.O.) Not an ideal way to finish things off. I mean, there’s never a good way, I guess, but having the pub’s jukebox mock me with its choice of tune, and having that random woman get the situation so horribly wrong kind of puts that in the top ten.
EXT. OUTSIDE THE ARMS PUB. DAY. Alex is walking back to his car, angry and upset. He talks to the camera as he crosses the car park and gets into his Honda. ALEX me? For the first time in living memory I had a girl I could not see for weeks at a time and not be bothered by it, and now she uses that as a reason to dump me? And explain to me why I rank below getting drunk with her friends every night in and around one of the most elitist universities in the country? What is so bad about me that makes that such a better option?
Alex slams the car door shut and drives off camera. INT. ALEX’S CAR. DAY. Alex talks to us as he drives, still angry. ALEX should have just found somewhere to sit for a while and clear my head, but I went for plan B instead.
INT. ALEX’S ROOM AT PARENTS. DAY. Alex is at his computer, playing Max Payne and gleefully blasting criminals to bits with automatic weapons. ALEX Videogames may not have a link to gun crime and street violence, but I can honestly say that coming home after that and shooting people point blank with grenade launchers gave me a worrying amount of satisfaction..
INT. ALEX’S ROOM. NIGHT. Alex is staring up at the ceiling. Hobbes is sniffing around him. ALEX I spent the next few days in a state of shock. I didn’t tell anyone about it, mainly because my good buddy Jay was up from London for the weekend, and I didn’t want to make a scene about it because of that.
INT. THE VARSITY - WALSALL. NIGHT. Alex is sat at a table, surrounded by his usual friends and a few new faces, JAY, HEATHER and SARAH among them. Everyone is busy talking, laughing, smoking and drinking, except Alex, who sits unmoving in the middle of it all, occasionally answering when people talk to him. ALEX (V.O.) That wasn’t a good weekend to be sociable.
INT. ALEX’S ROOM. NIGHT. As before, but Alex is out of bed and running a finger along the books on the large bookshelf against one wall, looking for something. ALEX That night when I got back home, I decided to do a few things. I was going to spend the rest of year getting my new band up to arse kicking strength, I was going to move out and get my own place, and I was going to lay my demons to rest at last.
He finds what he was looking for, retrieves the book and holds it up to the camera - a well-read, slightly battered copy of Nick Hornby’s ‘High Fidelity.’ ALEX last part.
Alex sits down on the bed and starts to leaf through the book. ALEX Shortly after that weekend, I sat down and saw this book on my bookcase, calling out to me.
INT. ALEX’S ROOM AT PARENTS. NIGHT. Alex is sat on his bed, looking glum, when he notices something glowing out the corner of his eye. He looks over to the bookcase and sees one of the books is glowing softly, Holy Grail style. He stands up slowly and reaches out, his fingers taking the book out. The glow dies down as Alex reads the cover and realises what it is. INT. ALEX’S ROOM. NIGHT. As before. ALEX It’d been a few years since I’d last looked at it, but it all suddenly seemed to have taken on an almost prophetic relevance. The story of a guy who breaks up with someone he felt happy with, despite a few reservations that he seemed to have, followed by his backtracking through his most memorable relationships to try and find answers to the question ‘Why does this keep happening to me?’ - well, it could have been written about me. Or at least, it would be by the time I’d finished going back through all my past girls..
INT. COSTA’S COFFEE SHOP. DAY. Alex is in his plainer work clothes, sat at a table with one of the ever-present vanilla frescatos in front of him as he continues to read from the book. ALEX It became my mission, my calling, to follow the path that Rob follows in the book. Even though that meant getting a shovel and digging up my old skeletons to ask them if I could play spoons on their bones. (beat) Or something. It’s a metaphor. I think. (closes the book) The first stop was my longest affair to date, the feisty little package of red that they call Gemma.
INT. THE IMPERIAL - WALSALL. NIGHT. CAPTION - Xmas Eve, 1998. Alex is sat in one of the booth tables at the old-fashioned, large pub. ALICIA and Rob are sat next to him, and GEMMA, DONNA and JORDAN sit opposite. The group are chattering excitedly. The camera closes on Gemma and freezes to display the caption. CAPTION - GEMMA. ALEX (V.O.) I’d been set up with Gemma by my then best mate Rob’s girlfriend Alicia. Alicia would play her own part in things later on, but for now she was just the instigator of all this.
Alex and Gemma keep talking to each other - there’s an obvious mutual attraction. ALEX (V.O.) I’m missing out one thing here, though, which I should just mention before I go on. Selma.
EXT. THE FLOCK BEER GARDEN. NIGHT. Alex, Rob and Alicia are out, sat at one of the wooden tables on the ‘beer garden’ to the rear of the Flock pub. The ‘garden’ is misleading Because it’s really just an eighteen foot square outdoor area, paved with concrete slabs and surrounded by a high brick wall, although a mural has been painted on one wall - ‘Baawatch,’ a Baywatch spoof with sheep instead of people. Next to Alex sits SELMA, a blonde bombshell in a black miniskirt, dark tights and a loose-fitting white shirt. Alex looks petrified of her, but pretty enraptured by her at the same time. Selma and Alicia are jabbering away as they’re old friends. Freeze frame on Selma to display the caption. CAPTION - SELMA.
ALEX (V.O.) Gemma wasn’t the first person Alicia had tried to set me up with, that rare honour goes to her old mate Selma. I think Alicia took pity on me only ever having her and Rob to go around with, and in her mind having someone who she already knew was just better for her as well!
INT. COSTA’S COFFEE. DAY. As before. ALEX Alicia’s like that.
EXT. THE FLOCK BEER GARDEN. NIGHT. As before. Alex’s voice over is still running as Alex watches Selma talking. ALEX (V.O.) Anyway, she got me to meet her friend Selma, who I thought was a damn fine piece of woman. Sarcastic, pretty, and also interested in me.. well, what else could I ask for? Things didn’t work out because I was still too shy, too nervous and too generally clueless about women to do anything right. I called her house about eight times one weekend to try and talk to her, and that didn’t leave a great lasting impression.
INT. COSTA’S COFFEE. DAY. As before. ALEX It did, however, mean that while watching ‘Swingers’ with my mates we could have a good laugh at one of the scenes. You know which one.
INT. SI’S HOUSE - FRONT ROOM. NIGHT. Alex and Ian are sat along with WILL, MICHAEL ‘TONIC’ MARSHALL and BEN watching the film ‘Swingers’ on video. We’re looking out from alongside the TV towards the sofa and armchairs where the boys are sitting. We can hear the film soundtrack on the TV. TV (Jon Favreau) Oh, hi! Hi! I didn’t know you were in, I was just, uh, trying to leave a message, and I..
TV (woman’s voice) Don’t ever call me again.
Alex groans and slaps his forehead as the boys all burst out laughing, pointing at him. INT. COSTA’S COFFEE. DAY. As before. ALEX Yep, that one. Anyway. We had one good |